Funny Sayings (827)

I'm not old I'm just Assembled from Discontinued Parts

Senior Citizen give me my Discount and Get Off My Lawn

I still Dance I just Sit Down between songs

I walked in this room for a reason Now I Live Here

Party at my house starts at 5 Ends At 7 Very Wild

My knees Crack more than My Jokes

I used to stay out late now I Stay In And I Love It

Retired my day's biggest event is The Mail Arriving

I'm not old I just Wear Sweaters In July

Young at heart slightly Older in Other Places

I don't need a smartphone I need my Grandkid To Fix It

at my age I'm not Rude I'm just Out Of Time For Lies

My social life is the Pharmacy Line and I'm Thriving

Early Bird dinner at 4 Bed By 8 and Proud Of It

I'm looking for my glasses and my phone While Holding Both

Retired I have no Alarm Clock just A Bladder

I'm not a little old lady I'm a Wild Young Woman In A Bad Costume

Old Man with A Deck Of Cards and no plans to Lose

I'm a nurse I'm not Rude I'm just Twelve Hours In

please don't confuse your Google Search with my Nursing Degree

Teacher off duty please don't ask me Any Questions Until August

Teaching is a work of Heart and A Lot Of Coffee

I'm a Retired Teacher I still correct your Grammar

My dad is a Trucker he's always gone But Never Far

Proud Mechanic's Wife I'm used to grease, cuss words And Late Dinners

Farmer's Wife I don't need a gym I Have Chores

I'm a Cowgirl I've got boots, attitude And A Horse Who Likes Me

I married an Electrician he's shocking But Sparks Still Fly

Dad's Plumbing advice don't put That Down There

my dad keeps the Lights On for everybody Including Me

My dad built this House and my Bad Back

I'm a Vet Tech I like animals more than Most People

I'm a Dental Assistant I'll ask you questions With My Hands In Your Mouth

I'm a Hairdresser I fix what you Did At Home

I'm a Realtor I sell houses and Patience

I'm an Accountant it's tax season so Don't Talk To Me