Funny Sayings (827)

I'm a cashier I've heard Is This Free A Million Times

Security I'm paid to watch you And I'm Good At My Job

I'm a Bus Driver I've driven kids who would make You Cry

I'm a Pastor's Wife I pray for you and Judge You Quietly

Grandma and Retired Nurse I know where It Hurts

I'm a Dog Grandma I spoil them And Send Them Home

I'm a Dog Dad I talk to my dog more than I Talk To People

I'm not a crazy cat lady I'm a Cat Collector With Standards

My dog likes me More Than You Do and that's Fine

I fish so I don't Choke People

Our family goes Camping so we can Argue Outdoors

I'm a grumpy old man with a Smoker and No Time For Vegans

I'm the girl with the Big Truck and the Bigger Attitude

Turkey Crew here for the Pie not the Family Drama

These are my Thanksgiving Pants they have Room For Pie

I'm just here for the Pie and to avoid Politics At Dinner

Thankful grateful and still Grumpy Pass The Gravy

I'm 40 and still at the Kids Table Pass The Rolls

I came for The Turkey I'm staying for The Leftovers

Thankful for My Crazy Family and Stretchy Pants

My husband says he can Deep Fry A Turkey the fire department Disagrees

Wine turkey and Family Patience In That Order

I'm on the Naughty List and I Regret Nothing

Family Christmas Crew loud, crazy And Full Of Cookies

My wife put up Four Christmas Trees and I'm still Not Allowed To Complain

My Christmas Shopping List 1. gift card 2. another gift card 3. ask my wife What I Bought

I'm the Grumpy Elf I make toys And Complaints

Powered by Hot Cocoa Christmas music And Pure Chaos

this is my matching Family Christmas Shirt don't ask me To Smile

My dog is my Favorite Christmas Gift every year

I put up the tree the cat Took It Down Merry Christmas

Working Christmas because Someone Has To merry Night Shift

Santa has a sleigh I have An 18 Wheeler Same Job

My sister and I have been Fighting Over Presents Since 1980

I teach the cutest Little Elves they're also Very Loud

Short Girls aren't short we're Santa's Helpers