Quotes Funny (1229 Designs)

I don’t care how old I get if I’m in a and see a toy with “try me” on it I’m pushing those buttons.

Nobody hides pain better than a grandma that’s trying to keep everyone & everything together... Her family is her everything.

Sometimes you have to flip out & go bat crap crazy to make a freaking point.

I’d rather spend time with a rough around the edges sinner than a well-polished hypocrite.

Short girls look so sweet & cute until you piss us off then we are like a chipmunk with rabies.

I think way too many people have been drinking from the fountain of stupidity.

After gossiping about me please pray for me I want to be perfect like you.

I hate it when people can’t see the wrong in their actions but see the wrong in mine.

Don’t piss me off I’m a cranky old woman I do what I want when I want where I want your approval is not required.

I love it when people think they’re going to punish me by not talking to me.

I’m so glad I had a childhood before technology took over.

No I haven’t met Mr. Right but I have met Mr Liar, Mr Players, Mr Psycho and Mr Douchebag.

Blood stains are red, ultraviolet lights are blue, I watch enough murder show they’ll never find you.

Saying what you feel it’s not being rude it’s called being real.

I’m a cranky short woman don’t test me I will put you in the trunk and help people look for you

Short chubby girl problem #24: when the sun visor doesn’t even help when you’re driving

If I could go back in time I would leave some people right where I found them

I’m on my second guardian angel my first one quit and is now in therapy

I don’t have a short temper I just have a quick reaction to stupid people

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone

I hate that moment when I’m tired... and sleepy... but as soon as I go to bed my body is like just kidding!

Skilled workers are hard to find that’s why morons are promoted to management

Maybe I was raised wrong but I was taught if you wanted something you work for it

Skilled workers are hard to find that’s why idiots are promoted to management

By age 50 you should have:

I’m a cranky woman chubby and stout here is my finger here is my mouth when I get all worked up I will shout... piss me off and I’ll cuss you out

It’s funny how you’re nice to my face it’s hilarious how you talk crap behind my back and it’s downright comical that you think I’m unaware

Growing old is hard work... the mind says “yes” but the body says “What the hell are you thinking”

Be careful who you vent to a listening ear can also be a running mouth

Nobody hides pain better than a grandma that’s trying to keep everyone & everything together... her family is her everything

I may be old but I still remember when to say please and thank you

I used to think our parents were so strict but watching these kids today I think our parents save our lives

Better worry about your own sins because God ain’t gonna ask you about mine

One thing I hate more than a liar, is a liar that thinks I’m freaking stupid.

Some of y’all come from the “If you’ll quit crying, I’ll buy you something” generation. We came from the “If you don’t quit crying, I’ll give you something to cry about” generation.

Two things I can’t stand: