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I always thought my mom was crazy And now I realize it was me I’m the one that drove her crazy I totally get it now

I have OCD syndrome Old... cranky... and dangerous

I’m part of the generation:

Don’t underestimate cranky short women. We have to hop on counters to get stuff. Don’t think we can’t hop on you like a spider monkey.

I’d rather spend time with a rough around the edges sinner than a well-polished hypocrite.

I don’t care how old I get. If I’m in a and see a toy with “Try me” on it, I’m pushing those buttons.

Back in my day, kids didn’t talk back to their parents because they had a mom with a wooden spoon and a dad that wore a belt.

Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize... maybe I am.

Sometimes I sit quietly & wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize... maybe I am.

Men lie so much I’m starting to believe that Adam bit the apple, blamed it on Eve. That’s why the Adam’s apple is stuck in their throat.

Maybe I was raised wrong, but I was taught if you wanted something, you work for it.

I used to think our parents were so strict, but watching these kids today, I think our parents saved our lives.

If we switched back to cursive and stick shift vehicles, we could cripple an entire generation.

I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

It’s funny how you’re nice to my face. It’s hilarious how you talk crap behind my back, and it’s downright comical that you think I’m unaware.

Some of you came from the “If you stop crying, I’ll buy you something” generation. We came from the generation “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.” We are not the same.

Back in my day, I played outside, not online. Parents called my name, not my cell phone. And if I didn’t eat what Mom cooked, I didn’t eat. I know I’m old.

Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery .

Sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you knew.

Growing old is hard work... The mind says “Yes” but the body says “What the hell are you thinking?”

Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize... maybe I am.

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m freaking stupid.

Studies have found that women who are a little out of shape live longer than the men who mention it.

I’ve been called rebellious, wrong, a black sheep, different... because I refuse to be what everyone else is. I stand by my beliefs.

Just because I said I know how to behave doesn’t mean I’m going to.

There is no such thing as a cranky old lady. The truth is once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.

Behind every granddaughter who believes in herself is a great grandma who believed in her first.

Still the most magical day of my life was the day I became a mom and a grandma.

I don’t care how old I get. If I’m in a and see a toy with “Try me” on it, I’m pushing those buttons.

Back in my day, kids didn’t talk back to their parents because they had a mom with a wooden spoon and a dad that wore a belt.

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self employed. We’re having a staff meeting.

I’m not clumsy. Just the floor hates me, the table & chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

When I’m feeling down and someone says “Suck it up,” I get the urge to break their legs and say “Walk it off.”

Short girls look so sweet & cute until you piss us off. Then we are like a chipmunk with rabies.

I’m a cranky short woman. Don’t test me. I will put you in the trunk and help people look for you.

Nobody hides pain better than a grandma that’s trying to keep everyone & everything together... Her family is her everything.