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Don't ask me for advice, I still think punching stupid people in the face is the right answer.

IDGAF if you don't like me. I don't live to please you.

I have a black belt in sarcasm, a degree in mouth with no filter, and I'm just a few credits short of punching stupid people I encounter every day.

I am in competition with no one. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.

People push me to my limits, but when I finally explode and fight back, I am the mean one!

Sorry! My nice button is out of order, but my bite me button works just fine.

I live on the corner of Funny Street and Silly Road in Crazy Town, which is in Psycho Valley, in a twisted state of mind.

If you get a different me, it's because I saw the real you.

If you're gonna be a smartass, first make sure you're smart. Otherwise, you're just an ass.

Has my mouth gotten me in trouble? Yes. Has it pissed people off? Yes. Am I going to stop speaking my mind? Not a chance!

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil and naughty. If you see me laughing, it's because I've done it already.

It's only murder if they find a body. Otherwise, it is just a missing person. Now come on over here, I have something to show you.

I choose to play stupid, but trust me, I know everything you think I don't.

I want my daughter to be kind, but I also want her to know that she can throat punch someone if she needs to.

Before you try to hurt my feelings, keep in mind I don't have any and you probably do.

I'm not sure how you have your foot in your mouth, head in your ass and nose in my business, yet here we are.

Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours.

Did I piss you off? That's great. At least I'm doing something right.

It's simple. Don't mess with my daughter. Trust me, I'm the mom you don't want to cross, cause you have no idea what I'm capable of.

You know you’re getting old when you have more doctors than friends!

I’m real tired of babysitting my mom’s grandkids right now.

I’m sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

Some grandmas cuss and will kick your ass if you mess with their grandkids -It’s me, I’m some grandmas.

I will not be any man’s Half-time, down-time, spare-time, or sometimes So don’t waste my time

Smart assy daughter Hated by many Loved by plenty Heart on her sleeve Fire in her soul & a mouth she can’t control

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else My parents taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate

Back off I have anger issues A serious dislike for stupid people And a mouth I can’t control

We werent sisters by birth But we knew from the start We were put on this earth to be sisters be heart

I don’t live my life to please anyone. I don’t care what anyone thinks If you don’t like me don’t talk to me

It is simple Don’t mess with my son Trust me, I’m the mom you don’t want to cross Cause you have no idea what I’m capable of

I am putting myself in timeout until I can play nice with others This may take a while because stupid people are everywhere

I’m not spoiled I’m just loved, protected and well taken care of by my husband Thankful for him

I have red hair because God knew I needed a warning label

Lets get one thing straight I don’t have anger issues..

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel

I’m not sarcastic I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking