Quotes Funny (1412 Designs)

I Don't Count Slices Of Pie on Thanksgiving I Count Blessings

Don't Bother Him the grill is His Office And He's In A Meeting

Quick Trip To The Hardware Store he said that Three Hours Ago

Wind Therapy no appointment needed No Waiting Room Just Open Road

My Tackle Box Is Perfectly Organized the garage? We Don't Talk About The Garage

Calm Voice steady hands Organized Chaos That's Nurse Life

Being A Nurse Means the whole family texts you Every Little Ache Before Anyone Else

Summer Break is just three months of Planning Next Year In Flip-Flops

Every Diner from here to the coast Knows My Name And My Coffee Order

A Doorbell Rang on TV and my dog Defended The House From Nobody

Rolled The Window Down and my dog acted like It Was The Best Day Of His Life

Closed One Door now my cat needs Urgently To Be On The Other Side

Who Needs An Alarm my cat starts Breakfast Service At 5 AM Sharp

Thankful For Everyone who suddenly Disappears When It's Time For Dishes

Pie For Breakfast the morning after Thanksgiving Isn't A Bad Habit It's A Tradition

Our Tree Leans a little to one side It's Not Crooked It Has Character

My Husband Says I Know A Guy turns out The Guy Is Always Him

He Can Describe a weird car noise In Perfect Detail But Not His Feelings

Gray Beard bad knees Still Rides Every Sunday Morning

Coffee In One Hand line in the water and My Phone Left In The Truck

Nurse Lunch Break scheduled for noon Eaten At 4 PM Standing Up

Students See Me At The Grocery Store and act like they Just Spotted A Unicorn

Ten Thousand Miles and the best one is always The Last One Into My Own Driveway

My Truck Has more of my snacks Than My Kitchen Home Is Where The Cab Is

Bought A Fancy Dog Bed he still sleeps On My Pillow Every Single Night

Went To Get The Mail and my dog greeted me like I'd Been Gone Ten Years

My Cat Sits On The Stairs like a Tiny Landlord Collecting Rent In Snacks

Got Up For Two Seconds came back and My Seat Now Belongs To The Cat

I Ran The Turkey Trot so technically This Pie Is Earned

Official Mashed Potato quality control and Head Taste Tester

Playing Christmas Music Since Halloween and I Regret Nothing

My Hot Cocoa is mostly Marshmallows As It Should Be

Certified Dad Joke expert and my wife Groans Every Single Day

My Wife Said No More Bikes so I told her This One's A Classic

I Practice Catch And Release mostly the Release Part

My Office opens at Sunrise And Has A Lake View