Quotes Funny (1396 Designs)

I'm Not Ignoring You I'm just Waiting On A Bite

No Signal at the lake That's The Point Of Going

Nurse Lunch Break happens at 4:30 PM Standing Up

I Said It Once I said it twice I Wrote It On The Board

My Kids Know Me by my CB Handle Not My Name

Kids Pulled The Arm so I Honked The Horn Best Part Of My Day

I Have A King Bed and somehow The Dog Gets Most Of It

I Left For five minutes My Dog Acts Like It's Been Five Years

Put Down One Paper and The Cat Claims It Instantly

My Cat's Schedule Follow The Sunbeam Nap Repeat

Thanksgiving Seating guess who got The Folding Chair Again

Our Tree Went Up before The Pumpkins Came Down

I'll Fix It Saturday said my husband Three Saturdays Ago

Rode Home in the Rain Saved On A Shower

My GPS Says take the highway I Said Back Roads Only

Home By Noon is the Biggest Lie In Fishing

Nurses Know exactly who Took Our Pen We Just Can't Prove It

My Watch Says Fifteen Thousand Steps and my shift Isn't Over

Yes I Can Hear You Whispering from Across The Room

If You Can't See My Mirrors I can't see you Give Me Room

Want To Go for a Car Ride Best Words Ever

Doorbell On TV my dog Falls For It Every Single Time

A Closed Door is a Personal Insult To My Cat

My Cat Stares at An Empty Wall Now I'm Scared Too

Family Came For Thanksgiving but first they asked for The Wi-Fi Password

The Turkey Is Fine but The Stuffing Is The Real Star

Matching Pajamas forty tries and Nobody Smiled At The Same Time

Professional Purse Holder while my wife Shops

My Husband Hears one tiny Noise In The Car And Cancels All Our Plans

Kickstand Up Worries Down see you Down The Road

Don't Open the Butter Tub Those Are My Worms

Shift Starts With A Perfect Bun and ends with A Bird's Nest

Teacher Treasure Glue Sticks guarded Like Gold

Trucker Victory finding a Parking Spot After 9 PM

Merging Is A Team Sport please Join The Team

My Dog's Arch Enemy is the Vacuum Cleaner