Funny Sayings (755)

Yes I'm spoiled but not by you by a Grumpy Old Husband Who'd Fight You

my happy place is the Hardware Store my sad place Is The Checkout

I'm nice until You Mess With My Family then I'm Your Worst Nightmare

I'm a Nurse I've seen things that would make you Pass Out so no, your attitude Doesn't Scare Me

Retired not Expired I still have Opinions

I'm a nurse my sarcasm comes in IV Form Free Of Charge

Retired Nurse I still give Medical Advice you just have to Listen This Time

I'm an Electrician I fix what your husband Tried To Fix

Electrician Rates $50 an hour $75 if you watch $100 if you help $200 If You Tried It First

I'm a Welder I fix things you can't fix With Tape

I'm a welder I play with fire and Hot Metal all day You Don't Scare Me

I'm a Trucker I've driven more miles than your Excuses

Proud Trucker's Wife I'm not single my husband Is On The Road

Mechanic Rates $80 an hour $100 if you watch $150 If You Tell Me How To Do It

I'm a Grumpy Old Mechanic I'll fix your car but not Your Attitude

Retired Teacher I'm not Grading your behavior Anymore... Yet

I'm a teacher I have Patience for kids Not Adults

I'm a Farmer I get up early work all day And Still Can't Afford Retirement

Some guys chase women I chase Cows That Got Out Again

I'm a Plumber I fix what you Flushed

Measure twice cut once then Cuss Three Times

while you're hiding from the storm I'm Climbing Into It Lineman

Proud Firefighter's Wife he runs into fire I run The House

Proud Police Wife he protects the city I Protect Him

CNA caring nursing assisting Exhausted

These hands built your House your road And Your Bad Back

I'm in HVAC I make people hot when they're cold And Cold When They're Rude

I'm Retired goodbye tension hello Pension

My kitchen My Rules if you don't like it Make Your Own

I'm a server I'm paid to Smile not to Like You

Nurse fueled by Coffee and Patients' Bad Decisions

I'm a Veteran and a dad I'm not afraid of Anything except my Daughter's Boyfriend

I'm a Mail Carrier I've survived more dogs than You've Met

warehouse life lift stack complain Repeat

Retired I worked 40 Years to sit in this Recliner

Trucker I drive big trucks and I have a Short Temper Stay Off My Bumper