Funny Sayings (916)

I Like My Cranberry Sauce with the Can Ridges Still On It

Thanksgiving Math one slice of each still counts as One Slice Of Pie

My Husband can't go anywhere Without Making A New Best Friend

I Measure My Life in Miles Not Years

Two Fingers Down if you know You Know Ride Safe

Don't Open The Fridge that's not yogurt It's Bait

Nurse Superpowers Bladder Of Steel and Cold Coffee

Hi, I'm A Teacher and I own Too Many Colorful Pens

I Can Back 53 Feet into a tight spot Just Don't Watch Me

The GPS Said turn left My Gut Said Keep On Trucking

My Dog can hear The Cheese Drawer From Three Rooms Away

Missing Socks? check The Dog Bed Every Single Time

My Cat won't touch Her Water Bowl Only My Glass

Do Not Disturb Loaf Mode Activated

Thanksgiving Dress Code anything with An Elastic Waistband

Honey Where's The Ketchup it's right there Behind The Milk

Every Gas Station is a Reunion When You Ride

I'm Not Ignoring You I'm just Waiting On A Bite

No Signal at the lake That's The Point Of Going

Nurse Lunch Break happens at 4:30 PM Standing Up

I Said It Once I said it twice I Wrote It On The Board

My Kids Know Me by my CB Handle Not My Name

Kids Pulled The Arm so I Honked The Horn Best Part Of My Day

I Have A King Bed and somehow The Dog Gets Most Of It

I Left For five minutes My Dog Acts Like It's Been Five Years

Put Down One Paper and The Cat Claims It Instantly

My Cat's Schedule Follow The Sunbeam Nap Repeat

Thanksgiving Seating guess who got The Folding Chair Again

Our Tree Went Up before The Pumpkins Came Down

I'll Fix It Saturday said my husband Three Saturdays Ago

Rode Home in the Rain Saved On A Shower

My GPS Says take the highway I Said Back Roads Only

Home By Noon is the Biggest Lie In Fishing

Nurses Know exactly who Took Our Pen We Just Can't Prove It

My Watch Says Fifteen Thousand Steps and my shift Isn't Over

Yes I Can Hear You Whispering from Across The Room