Funny Sayings (883)

At Thanksgiving Gravy counts as A Beverage

I Don't Wrap Gifts I just add Tape Until It Stays Shut

Grill Master rule number one don't touch The Tongs Rule Two: See Rule One

Don't Worry Honey it'll Buff Out Probably

two wheels open road No Worries Cheaper Than Therapy

Nurse powered by coffee, scrubs And Pure Grit

I'm A Teacher there's glitter in places I Didn't Know I Had

Home Is Where I Park It sleep, drive Repeat Trucker Life

Trucker's Wife I share my husband with the open road And I'm Still Proud

Dog Mom dog hair on my clothes Don't Care Love My Pup

the more people I meet the more I love My Dog Just Saying

Work From Home my coworker sits On My Keyboard And Calls It Help

I Wanna Be my cat nap, eat, Nap Again Living The Dream

Caution Top Button Undone Zone it's Thanksgiving, mind your business

don't ask about my job don't ask about my love life just ask me About My Pie

Christmas Cookies count as cardio if you Walk To The Oven

most likely to Fall Asleep Before Santa Shows Up

My Husband Fixes Everything twice The Second Time I Call A Pro

Old Bones Young Throttle see you on the back roads

Catch & Release is what I say when I Didn't Catch Anything

The Early Bird gets the worm I Get The Fish

Don't Make Me Use My Nurse Voice you won't like it

If It's Not Charted It Didn't Happen nurse life

I Started The Year with 200 pencils Now I Have Three

My Office has a better view than yours And 18 Wheels

I Haven't Gone To the bathroom alone Since I Got My Dog

I'm Not The Owner I'm just The Staff

Weekend Forecast dog walks with a chance of More Dog Walks

Who Needs An Alarm when you have A Hungry Cat at 5 AM

Not Here For the turkey, honestly I'm Here For The Sides

official Thanksgiving Dish Washer somebody had to do it

Yes My Tree went up Before Halloween and I regret nothing

I Don't Wrap I Use Gift Bags it's called efficiency

My Husband Stands in front of the open fridge And Still Can't Find It

You Can Spot a happy biker by The Bugs In His Teeth

My Tackle Box is bigger than My Closet priorities